anxiety, mental health, opinion

Tomorrow

Sometimes life gets a little busy… okay sometimes life gets a lot busy.
You know those periods of time where you are constantly trudging forward, head down, just busting your way through task after task? These are normally the periods where Monday quickly becomes Saturday, you forget to call your friends/family, and the little things accidently slip through the cracks.

It is easy to get caught up in “tomorrow”- a reality you have yet to face. You think about a project at work, count the amount of hours you’ll actually sleep tonight (starting….now!), and whatever else is looming behind mystery door #3 that will show its face at some point tomorrow.

What about today? What about yesterday?

I often find myself planning for the next thing: “What happens after this? Where am I going? What am I doing?”
As I am currently sitting in a time of uncertainty, those thoughts plague my mind and create a little bit of mental chaos.

Finding that I always go back to one commonality- the need to be bigger and better than yesterday.
I need to find a better job that pays better money that goes better places. I take for granted the life I lead and the personal histories I have created.

In a whirlwind of trudging day by day, holding out for the puzzle pieces to land to see a picture of what is coming up, planning for all possible outcomes I scan my own Instagram.

First the thoughts are critical: “I used to be thinner. I was in that really cool place and I wish I were there. I was more stable in my plans then.”
But then I switched that off. It was a choice.

I then saw how extraordinary my life actually is, was, and will be.

The travel I have done, the people I have met, the things I have seen, the hobbies I have picked up, the healing and decision makings that lead me to where I am and where I am going…

When you look at another person’s social media platform, you see a small glimpse of the story. But when I look back at my own, I see the novel. I can read it through the pictures because I have lived it. Reading the captions, seeing what I thought was important, understanding that I am doing well.

We get carried away. Worries, comparisons, criticisms… it is hard to turn those off especially in times of uncertainty. But we seem to forget that we live in uncertainty.

I can “what-if” about tomorrow all I would like, but it will unfold as it will unfold. If I worry and nothing goes wrong, I worried for nothing. If I think it is going to be perfect and there are some bumps in the road, I may ruin my day. If it goes wrong and I worried beforehand, I’ve lived it twice.
It is better to go into any moment with an open mind and without preconceived expectations of what you think your reality will be.

Every once in a while, during those really busy moments in life, take a moment. Reflect. You are doing a lot better than you think you are. You have done a lot better than you think you have.

Everything is going to be okay.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought.    –Buddha

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